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Men… I wonder…

I am now 40 years old.  I have been married twice, and twice I have had the man who said that they loved me take so much from me.  I have lost so much in this last divorce.  I have almost nothing left, but what I do have is my health and my ability to work.  I have lost my retirement funds, I have lost my savings, I have lost almost all of my possessions, and yet still I have a pile of bills that are sky high.

I find it hard to explain how a man can walk away from the woman whom he has declared his love.  Yet that is what my husband did.  He left like a thief in the night taking everything I knew with him.  He left me with all of the bills and has yet to give me a dime to help cover them.

I have done so much in my lifetime.  So many wonderful accomplishments and yet I sit here in my very empty home wondering what day it will be that the bank or the courts will throw me out.  I have worked in a fish market, I have catered Cajun and Creole, I have taught networking and security around the world, I have ridden my bicycle from Fairbanks to Anchorage and from Minneapolis to Chicago, and yet I have no idea where I will be even next week.

I have come to the conclusion that marriage is an outdated custom that does not serve women in todays society, with few exceptions.  I will never marry again although that does not mean that I am not interested in a powerful life long commitment to a wonderful and loving partner.  Yet I have no idea where in the world I will find that man.  Is there someone out there for me?

I am strong willed, opinionated and almost never home.  Where do I find a man who can love me?  Over the last year I have found a wonderful man or two, but they are married.  Isn’t there some wonderful quote about all the good ones are taken….

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2 Responses

  1. Hi there.

    I was looking at trying P90X and saw your blog. I read a bit further and just wanted to wish you well on your new path.

    I am going through similar changes in my life with similar questions. I have found family and friends to be really supportive but sometimes it helps to hear from others that are sharing the same pain, the same struggles.

    Anyway, thanks.

    Stuart

  2. Just finished my workout on Day 12. Wow. I must admit it is still a tough workout, but having gotten through the first week really seems to have helped me mentally. I know I can get through the workouts. I have also done much better this week with recovery drinks to help after a workout and that has helped A LOT.

    I highly recommend this workout. it if for real. it works. I am on Day 12 and starting to see some results and I am thrilled.

    Best of luck to you too Stuart!

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