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Where to begin… again… ???

It has been so long since I have been blogging.  Since being hospitalized and then diagnosed with MS my world has been a little different.  My main reason for silence here is that I have not had the mental or physical strength to handle my day-to-day life and to share my thoughts with anyone.

Being diagnosed with something that the doctors and scientists don’t fully understand the cause of and have no cure for is a bit odd.  Not only that but this is a disease that is different for everyone.  How exactly this disease will affect me in the future is not known.  I could live a very long and mostly healthy life.  I could have symptoms from this disease that affect me and the life I lead in a very negative way.  There is just no way to really predict the future.

I have often thought of the song by Tim McGraw “Live like you were dying” over these past many months.  There are places I would love to visit and since I don’t know what my future will look like I visited Chichen Itza in November.  My travels have taken me to Cancun and the surrounding areas several times but I have never visited any of the Mayan ruins.  So I went.  And I was blessed to have my dear friend and her husband join me for the trip.

Before that I went to Breckenridge Colorado in October and was blessed to take my parents with me.  It was pure joy to watch my parents as the amazing views of the Rockies showed themselves to us as we drove along.  It is truly an awe inspiring and jaw dropping place.

I will continue to move on with my life and do what I can while I can not knowing what will come in the future.  In other words I will live for today.

I feel like I have been a horrible friend to my dear friends over the last couple of years, and it only got worse (I think) this past year.  I have been all about me.  It is not that I have not wanted to be there for my friends, or to socialize, or to talk about someone elses life other than my own.  It is that I have not been able to.  All of my energy has gone into holding my own life together.  I deeply apologize to all of my friends and am very thankful for everyone that has been there for me.

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5 Responses

  1. Hi Gwen,

    I saw some of your posts in LInkedin related to CISSP and strayed into your blog.
    I am sorry to hear about your hospitalisation and diagnosis for MS.
    Just wish you the best.

    regards,

  2. Hi Gwen,

    Sorry to hear that you were diagnosed with MS. My sister suffered from it. I’m praying for you.

    V/R
    Tee
    P.S. Thanks for helping me pass the CISSP exam.

  3. Gwen,

    I love Tim McGraw too. And it reminds me of another nice song from his wife Faith Hill, called “Better Days” that may give you some additional courage

    http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/faithhill/betterdays.html

    Take care
    Stephane

  4. Gwen,

    Don’t let the MS win. You are a talented and smart young lady. You will be in my daily prays. Stay strong and positive and get your rest. Eat healthy, and exercise for strength. You are young, pretty and smart.

    Your student,
    Gilbert Rodriguez

  5. Thanks Gilbert. I am working on winning. I have MS… it does not have me 😉 (usually 😉

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