25 Random Things about Me

1. I feel a bit like the guy on the show The Pretender (not intelligence level though). I have sold cars, catered Cajun, worked in a fish market, rode my bicycle 1500 miles in 2 years, taught networking/security, worked in a quilt store, owned two fruit stores and yet i still don’t know what i will be when i grow up
2. I am going to ride another bike ride this year, 300 miles this time
3. I once had an airline pilot say to me “I have not seen you in a while”
4. I once had a gate agent ask me where I have been since he had not seen me in a while.
5. I am in a permanent fight against back pain
6. I love Sushi… it is perhaps my favorite food (well after chocolate)
7. I love to cut fish and I miss cutting Salmon the most (although I sure did stink after work when I did)
8. I miss catering, I actually love the long hard days of physical labor. It is a great feeling to work hard, know you worked hard, and be able to see the results of your labor.
9. I still want to fly a jet off and onto a carrier
10. One of the sweetest men I know is dying form ALS ;( (Lou Gehrig Disease)
11. I miss being loved by a good man
12. I am about to be homeless and I am not sure where I will sleep when I am not traveling
13. I have some of the most amazing friends who have helped me through the last 2 years
14. My ex-husband actually abandoned me
15. I quilt a lot, although not at much as i would like to
16. I have sold almost all of my worldly possessions. All that is left fits in a 5×10 storage unit
17. I don’t know where in the world (literally) I will move to next
18. I live a very solitary life and there are times I so miss having friends around me
19. The man who believed in me and helped me start my first business is dying from multiple myeloma ;(
20. I am thankful for my family and the love and support they provide
21. I so miss my dogs and cats (I had to give them up because I will be homeless soon)
22. I want to get back on a normal bike (I ride a recumbent) but I am so afraid of the possible back pain
23. I want to take a vacation to South Africa, Egypt or Australia this year
24. I will get my body into great physical condition this year
25. I often wonder where will my life take me next

Men… I wonder…

I am now 40 years old.  I have been married twice, and twice I have had the man who said that they loved me take so much from me.  I have lost so much in this last divorce.  I have almost nothing left, but what I do have is my health and my ability to work.  I have lost my retirement funds, I have lost my savings, I have lost almost all of my possessions, and yet still I have a pile of bills that are sky high.

I find it hard to explain how a man can walk away from the woman whom he has declared his love.  Yet that is what my husband did.  He left like a thief in the night taking everything I knew with him.  He left me with all of the bills and has yet to give me a dime to help cover them.

I have done so much in my lifetime.  So many wonderful accomplishments and yet I sit here in my very empty home wondering what day it will be that the bank or the courts will throw me out.  I have worked in a fish market, I have catered Cajun and Creole, I have taught networking and security around the world, I have ridden my bicycle from Fairbanks to Anchorage and from Minneapolis to Chicago, and yet I have no idea where I will be even next week.

I have come to the conclusion that marriage is an outdated custom that does not serve women in todays society, with few exceptions.  I will never marry again although that does not mean that I am not interested in a powerful life long commitment to a wonderful and loving partner.  Yet I have no idea where in the world I will find that man.  Is there someone out there for me?

I am strong willed, opinionated and almost never home.  Where do I find a man who can love me?  Over the last year I have found a wonderful man or two, but they are married.  Isn’t there some wonderful quote about all the good ones are taken….

Now What…

I received word from my realtor last week that it appears that the short sale on my house is going to go through.  Now what?  I am going to be homeless.  I have been working my way towards being homeless for some time now.  It sounds so bad in our culture to be ‘homeless’ but due to my lifes circumstances I have been working towards this by choice.  I have sold almost everything I can.  I have condensed my life to a 5×10 storage unit.  I am looking for a room with some friendly person/couple to stay in when I am not on travel (and I think I may have found that room).

But where will life take me next?